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心情...伤了心...

好久没有写blog了...今天已经是要最后一天考试了... 我应该更努力的读书...却现在...我信任的朋友告诉我的事情...让我的心情突然变了..好想找个人来说...可是最近那个女孩泄露了我的秘密...让我觉得好讨厌她...一直以来有事时会找她说....可是今天...我却迷失了方向...不知道该怎么办... 不知道该和谁说我的事情..与谁诉苦....应该找我的开弟弟诉苦...可是又不想告诉他我的事情....还有另一个我信任的人...我却不想麻烦她...好让她可以与她的男朋友一起说话...不想打扰她和她的男朋友.....还有一个人...我看他已睡着了.... 我不知道该怎么办..我就想着写blog了...希望看到我的blog的人可以看了就算...就别再过问了....


昨天与今天, 我看见到他见到我就避开的眼神与身体...让我知道....我好像已经让他知道了...让他讨厌我了.... 我不知道我做了什么是让他讨厌...只怕他以后不敢跟我讲话了..... 我承认我喜欢他....我在害怕他不会和我讲话了... 我害怕他不喜欢我....我害怕我的没用....我害怕到很想躲开他....今年应该考大考试的我...每一年都在一直重复着这个害怕........不只要担心学业...我还在担心感情....我好想告诉我妈妈..可是每一次告诉她...她都说我....甚至有时还骂我....表面上她已经了解我所有事...可是真正的...她什么都不知道....我好想告诉我妈妈哦..............我很想向我信任的人哭着....并让他们安慰我...可是...我又很不想......我是不是很矛盾哦？？？


说回来...我原本在翻着我的sejarah书...可是当跟他的一个靠近的朋友传简讯...我问他...为什么他这么说？叫我别喜欢他了...他就说...."因为他不喜欢你...你一定要相信我...因为我很早以前...就有问过他了..." "har??什么时候？？这么快？？？我都还不确定....＂＂上个里拜啊...自从她大声的告诉全班啊..别担心..我告诉他时他不相信....所以你别担心拉！＂＂可是...他今天没跟我讲话...我好害怕....." " aiyo...不是这样的拉...可能你们没话题...所以才没讲话....别担心啦！... 或者...我帮你跟他说....?? " " 我看还是不用说啦...反正人都知道了啊...说也没有用... 顺其自然吧...久而久之...别人都会忘记的啊... 还有...请别告诉弟...我不想让他知道你告诉我什么.....＂ ＂说到底....都是她的错啦...谁叫她要说出来...害到你这样... 你现在还好吗?? 接下来什么打算？？＂ ＂我很不好.... 我打算...暂时避开他几天....好让我可以慢慢复原.." " 这样好不好？？ 我尽量帮你跟他说...明天我才和你谈....我想睡了...别想太多... 去睡吧 ！ 晚安... ＂ ＂不用了...谢谢...别担心...我没事....我还想读书...你睡吧！ 晚安！＂


我不知道该怎么办...我就只想哭...＂心痛的感觉...也无法去阻止...心痛来了...不知道要面对...只好哭着....把心痛给磨去... 哭久了... 自然的把心痛给习惯了...哭不出...让时间久了...也许可以一样的治疗心疼痛...或者...等时机到了....就一下子把它发泄出来.....就只要把痛给附上一个句号.....＂ 他...就像句字里的心痛...我....就像哭不出来笨到来写blog的傻瓜.....我只想要说出来而已....




我觉得我好失败....我比不上其她人... 是不是因为喜欢他...我变得没自信....？好自卑.... 好没用....因为别人有的我都没有......我是不是应该慢慢来....顺其自然的缘分就会出现在我眼前？？我其实是因为某个人喜欢某个人...因为某个喜欢...而某个不喜欢...希望某个人可以接受... ..才会喜欢某个人..... 我又在分心了 ！！





保佑我...明天的历史可以顺利得到 A ! 加油 ！ 最后一天考预考了！！！ 努力啊大家 ！！




Lynnwei.

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Your favouritesss

2014

Hi :) I'm back on Blogger! Yayy :) Just wanna do updates on a few things 1. I just done with my form six, got CGPA 3.75, and now waiting for the posting of local university, or maybe going for private one. Now I'm working as a temporary teacher in Hin Hua primary until August 19, because I wanna try it out for my mother and ex bf. I found out I wasn't passionate about being a teacher. I lost patience sometimes very easily because I couldn't understand why somethings is easy to understand but I dun get why they couldnt. HAHA It's me. And kids nowadays, their attitude really sucks, because they were too pampered by their parents. In the future, I would be a lecturer instead of primary or secondary teacher. 2. I broke up with my first love :) We have been together for 8 months. In the 8 months there was happy stuff, and sad stuff. I have learnt a lot of stuff. We were apart after we graduated from STPM, I made the effort for us to meet up to keep affections and ...
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I'm ready for my after twenty.

I have a great news to be announced! :) I'm ready to move on ! YAY ! I really forgave him, and forgot everything that happened between us.  Well it's not so hard after all if I had decided.  Be a cheerful, full of joy and smiles everyday, and having great confidence like I used to be.  Life's great and I have moved on. This will be the last, very last time I have ever remember him.  Hope he'll be having a great life too :) Well, we deserved to be happy. me and him.  I'm looking forward to find a better guy, who I can be a happy little girl when I'm with him. Cheers babe, it's going to be the end of year 2014.  The saddest year, yet the most grown up time I have ever had.  I'm ready for my twenty one 21. I'm ready to take care of myself. Kiboo Kotekitai motto : Clear target and never give up!  明确目标，不中途放弃!  I'm an angel of peace, grew up as a KK girl and a KK girl will stand on her feet st...
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Part two : Things changes :)))

NOW , I would like to talk about my class. I'm in the second class of the science stream class, 6A2 which was also another physics class. I have 20 classmates , who were Nian En, Joyce, Carene, Thage, Jamuna ( CETLW ) , Nava , Dao yi, Chi Zhi, Hui Huang , Shao Jun, Ji Sheng, Wai Hong , Hong Yee, Yon shern, KaiXuen, Weikeat, Louis, Michael, Kien Wei, Hen Yee :) They are really awesome. YON NIAN EN is our class monitor. She's nice and sometimes abit LOA. She often indirectly 得罪 people but she always never realized ! Our class boys don't dare to be that close with her. DY even told me that she's kinda weird sometimes hahah (which I understand why cause I've been friends with her since Primary) THAGE LEE HOOI FONG shortest girl in class, dao yi keep say she 虐待 dogs because there was once when she talked about dogs being beat up and she smiles while she was talking. So from that day onwards, whenever talk about HF , DY will always link it to dogs :/ hahahah funny.  JO...
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Rekindles.

The day when you decided to let me go, the day when you were on the way to airport and I went to your house, waited for you and hoping to see you for the last time, is the day I promised to myself that I will never give my heart to you again. Ever. How stupid how idiot how shame How hurtful and how much suferrings I have been through and how much courage I need to stand on my feet again. Im still strong. I Just wanna take your part of memory and throw away forever. I wish you all the best.
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再见过去

此刻，我好想回到过去。我不曾后悔认识你，很开心曾经拥有和你一起那些美好回忆。刚刚无意看到我们之间的一切甜蜜的谈话。真的在想，时间真的过得好快，许多事情发生让我们之间渐渐改变，我们不再像朋友一样，我们不可能，我知道我们已经回不去了。我已经删除跟你有关的回忆。 我要幸福。我一定可以重新来过！ 其实我早就知道，我们不可能。
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